C-Section Birth Stories: Caroline Culbertson

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

My daughter was breech for every single ultrasound we did during pregnancy. I remember during our 20-week scan, the tech mentioned with a laugh that she was breech, and we all chuckled because of course there was plenty of time for that to change. But then, when we scanned again around 30 weeks, she was still frank breech. At every midwife appointment thereafter, there was no mistaking that her head was up in my ribs (and I could certainly feel it!).

I tried EVERYTHING - I mean everything - to get her to turn. I did spinning babies (I'll never look at an ironing board the same way). I did flips in the pool. I did acupuncture. Moxibustion. Meditations. I walked 2 or 3 miles every day and kept working out. I saw a chiropractor who specialized in the Webster Technique. I did not one, but two external cephalic versions (ECVs).

Ultimately, I'm grateful that she didn't turn, although it made the last month of pregnancy stressful. I truly felt like I was grieving the unmedicated, vaginal birth that I had so envisioned and wanted. On top of that, this took place in the midst of COVID, so our Doula was not allowed to attend, and no one was able to visit us in the hospital. I went to many of my prenatal appointments alone. Lactation support after the birth was complicated due to COVID restrictions. However, I had incredible care during my hospital stay and we actually loved having that time to be just the three of us.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

I was surprised how much it still felt like the birth I'd wanted. I feel for the mamas who do not have that experience - who feel that a c-section was the worst outcome for them, or had an emergency situation that didn't allow for the slow, gentle belly birth that I was able to soak in. My experience was amazing - since my c-section was scheduled, I was able to specify our preferences ahead of time, and most of them were standard for that hospital anyway. They included:
- delayed cord clamping
- skin-to-skin as soon as the cord was cut
- my arms were not strapped down
- they had a clear drape so that my husband and I could watch baby emerge (butt first!)
- music was playing the whole time. Our daughter, Aila, was born to Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches - the song from the movie, Juno.

The whole experience was beautiful.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

My mom stayed with us, in our home, for about three weeks after the birth. That was HUGE for me in terms of support and allowed my husband to get some sleep to care for our animals and our farm. My c-section recovery was slow (I bled until 10 weeks), but honestly, it was nothing compared to the extreme difficulties we had with breastfeeding. My husband's parents dropped off lots of meals on our doorstep and we waved at a few visitors through the window because of COVID, but I truly didn't want anyone around except my mom and husband. I felt so raw and open and vulnerable in a way I'd never experienced.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

Can I give you more than 1? Haha.

Physical:
- Get up and move/walk on day 1. It's hard but it was the best advice I got and I walked out of the hospital 3 days later with almost no pain.
- Scar massage: no one talks about this. MASSAGE THAT SCAR GIRL. It can form adhesions if it's not manipulated enough and that can cause long-term pain, incontinence, etc.
- Get an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant® (IBCLC) if you want to breastfeed. And if you don't want to breastfeed, don't!
- You may want a bed set up on the first floor of your house for the first night or two so you don't have to go up and downstairs - I found this was the only thing that made my pain flare-up.
- Ask the hospital for a binder - it's a game-changer. It puts pressure on your incision and abdomen which is all of a sudden super empty/unstable feeling after giving birth.

Emotional:
- Tell your nosy family/friends/neighbors that you need time before they visit. Say that however you need to say it - it's no one's right to hold/meet your baby. If you're open to visitors, ask them to do laundry or make you a meal! Now is the time to use your "help me" coupon.
- Have a conversation with your spouse or another support person prior to the birth to open up the conversation about postpartum anxiety/postpartum depression (PPA/PPD). My husband knew what to listen for because my midwives had primed us with knowledge about the red flags.
- Let go of any expectations about how quickly or slowly you'll recover. You'll never get these days back; stay in bed with your baby and get the help you need so that you can truly recover from this intense surgery.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

It taught me about acceptance and finding peace in a lack of control. I thought if I worked hard enough and did enough preparation, that I could have the birth I'd envisioned. We got the doula, I read everything Ina May Gaskin had ever written but ultimately, what I didn't prepare for, was how to surrender. I had to learn it by living it.

Name: Caroline Culbertson

Your Profession: Editor, Podcaster, Equestrian

How to Connect With You on Social Media: www.instagram.com/caroline.culbertson