C-Section Birth Stories: Mary Hendricks

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

With my firstborn, my entire pregnancy went beautifully. However, once I went into labor, things took a turn. My epidural didn't work, which isn't the worst thing, but as my daughter was coming out she got caught on my pelvis. She had something called shoulder dystocia. Her head was out but her shoulders weren't. It was a code blue. They needed her out quickly. There is a lot more to the story but as a summary, it was traumatic for both my husband and me. My daughter didn't cry for about two minutes, I was torn to shreds down below and in terrible pain, shock, confusion, and my poor husband couldn't do anything but stand back and watch his world crumble. I honestly just remember laying there thinking my entire world was over. Thankfully, a beautiful cry was let out and after two days of being in the NICU, everyone recovered, went home, and thrived. However, I was extremely disappointed because, at the time, our doctor told me that from now on, c-sections would be the way to go. I hated that news.

One year later I was pregnant again with our second, a son, and I so badly just wanted to get the birth I had always envisioned. It would be my redemption birth, per se, and I was steadfast on this idea of proving everyone wrong and not having a c-section. I started going to the chiropractor, changed practices so that I could work with midwives, took hypnobirthing classes, saw an acupuncturist, and hired a doula. I did pretty much anything and everything I could to put the odds in my favor. However, at 37 weeks, our little guy was lying transverse. Again, hoping to avoid a c-section, we saw the partnering OBGYN practice to schedule an external cephalic version (ECV). Of course, as fate would have it, our baby ended up being back to head down at that appointment, leaving nothing to be done but have a chat with the OB. It was here that we talked about our history with our daughter and we were warned that after our previous experience that we were taking a risk. I never felt pressured at any point but what I will always remember was the doctor saying this: " I am one of the only providers in the state who still performs a breech birth and with a breech, there is a 1% chance of a baby’s head getting stuck. With shoulder dystocia, there is a 10-15% chance of it reoccurring, knowing you already had one. If 1% is enough to scare practitioners from doing them, think of what 10-15 does." We both walked out of the appointment silent because we knew. We knew that we couldn't go forward feeling fear-free or confident that nothing would go wrong.

Sure enough, on the morning of our c-section, at 39 weeks, I began having a couple of contractions at the hospital. For a second, I thought it would be cool to switch our plans around but then we learned our little boy was back to lying sideways. Clearly, there was something going on with my pelvis, which only nailed home our decision. I knew for sure that we made the right call. I don’t want to even think about what could have happened had we tried for a vaginal delivery.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

How amazing it was. I think the thing I loved the most was being able to take back the control I lost the first time. Having an elective c-section allowed us to go into it all calmly, make decisions with a clear head, prepare ourselves mentally and then also physically. We also were able to talk with our doctors/staff and get such a lovely birth experience. We had a "gentle" c-section and aside from them taking the baby quickly for first vitals/rub down, I managed to get my skin-to-skin and have those wonderful bonding moments as they finished stitching me up.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

Compared to my first birth, I felt more support this time around. Again, because it was planned, everyone knew ahead of time the extent of what would be happening. I think with vaginal birth, some people are almost too embarrassed to ask you how recovery is going. At least, that’s how it was for me. With a c-section, I felt like everyone was more open about asking because the questions weren't directed towards my vagina, haha.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

You are a badass! Seriously, c-section moms are some of the bravest and strongest people you will ever know. Don't ever think your body failed you. You may not have had the birth you envisioned with your baby but you will soon see how your body will allow you to heal, to move, to keep on going, despite your discomfort, all so that you can care for your new babe.

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

My c-section really showed me the power of mental attitude and positivity. I knew my recovery would be harder and not always fun but I chose not to think about that. Instead, I constantly reminded myself to stay positive and that any discomfort I had was only temporary. I actually remember repeating this in my head on the second night in the hospital, when recovery hit its peak. I just remember feeling like I'd always feel that way. Pain does that to you sometimes. Makes you think you will never get better. But sure enough, the next morning I did and each day from then on, I only got better.

Name: Mary Hendricks

Your Business: https://theverymarylife.com/

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