C-Section Birth Stories: Misty Agnew

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s):

The moment I found out I was pregnant I chose a midwife to be our primary care provider and I started to prepare for an unmedicated home birth. In the back of my mind I knew that something could go wrong and that c-sections were a possibility with any birth but I truly never thought it would actually happen to me.

At 36 weeks, my midwife suggested that I get an ultrasound just to check the position of the baby as a precaution. Heading into that appointment I was just so excited to see my little bean one last time before I got to meet her. The ultrasound tech jellied up my belly and got to work and then stopped as she said “well that’s not a head down there that looks like a butt”. I honestly didn’t understand what I was being told because nobody had ever talked to me about breech babies. It wasn’t until the doctor came in and explained it all that I started to piece together that my “perfect birth plan” was starting to fall like dominos.

Leaving that appointment I was crushed and panicked…my worst fears were coming true. I went home and immediately started to research “how to flip a baby”. When I say I tried everything to flip her I mean I tried EVERYTHING. Acupuncture, chiropractor, spinning babies, walking, laying upside down, and even a failed ECV (external cephalic version). I was so desperate to avoid a c-section, I stopped enjoying the last few weeks of my pregnancy and spent every moment riddled with anxiety. We were accepted into a specialty breech birth program that supports moms who want to attempt a vaginal breech birth but under very strict guidelines. I told myself “you won’t get your home birth but it’s okay you will at least get to deliver vaginally”. I put all my eggs into that basket and once again told myself I wasn’t going to have a c-section, that it wasn’t going to happen to me.

One of the requirements for a vaginal breech birth is that the baby has to be under a certain weight. We were right on the edge of that weight limit heading into week 37, so my next mission was to go into labor before my daughter got too big. So I got to work and tried EVERYTHING I could to get labor started. It didn’t work. At 39 weeks when the doctor told me my daughter was officially “too big”, I was crushed and I felt like my body had failed me. That doctor was so kind and so patient as she explained to me that there was only one option left and that I would be having a scheduled c-section the next day. Getting to know my daughter I am convinced that she just needed to enter this world on her own terms and needed to teach her mama to let go…my little breech wild child.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?:

What surprised me the most about having a belly birth was the joy and the beauty that existed within that operating room. Everything I knew about c-sections, prior to having my own, led me to believe that the experience was inevitably going to be negative. I had convinced myself that a c-section birth was too clinical to be beautiful…I was so wrong!

When I think about my daughter’s birth, I remember the genuine laughter that filled the room, the music playing and seeing my daughter’s beautiful little face pop over the curtain. Although I tried everything I could to avoid a c-section, I can say that I ended up loving my birth experience.

3. What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?:

My midwife was my rock and did everything in her power to ensure that I was cared for, not just physically but, that all my needs were being met in those first few weeks. My husband was also so supportive as he navigated becoming a new dad and my caregiver. Let people help you and let people love on you. You’re allowed to heal and you’re allowed to need help. I struggled with this at first but once I learned to let go things got a lot better.

4. What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?:

If you can, advocate for yourself and tell the medical team what you want/what you hope for. I know all c-section experiences are very different but don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. If your c-section is scheduled research the possible options you have. Like me, you may be surprised that you can create a c-section birth plan. Making choices about my c-section experience gave me a sense of control in a situation that felt completely out of my control. The experiences that mattered to me were being able to hold my daughter in the OR and breastfeeding as soon as possible. My husband expressed that he really wanted to cut her cord. I advocated for myself and luckily had the support of the doctors, nurses, and my midwife. My daughter was on my chest nursing within 5 minutes of being born. I truly don’t remember any aspect of my c-section once she was placed on my chest because I was just so happy and so in love. My husband was able to cut a section of her cord that they had left for him and he talks about that moment all the time. Your voice matters…don’t forget that!

5. How do you believe having a c-section birth(s) made you stronger?:

Having a belly birth made me stronger because it humbled me. It led to the profound realization that things don’t always go to plan and that it’s okay when they don’t. It made me stronger because it forced me to evaluate my own ego and come to the conclusion that many aspects of our life are out of our control. Most importantly, it made me stronger because it made me a mom and that’s one of the most powerful identities that exist.

Name: Misty Agnew, Out of School Care Director

Country of Residence: Canada

Instagram Username: @misstmagoo